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Typically when I find myself in New York City, I’m concerned with one thing: getting out of it. Yes, for all my love of NYHC, all the long praises I’ve written about the bands, the city itself makes me sick. Sick with anxiety, and disgusted by the piss stench everywhere I turn. Excuse my misanthropy please. It’s all good though because there will always be a song that perfectly sums up how I feel. I’d even say it’s one of the best punk songs, no… one of the best rock songs ever written. I’m not talking about the well liked Fear classic “I Love Livin’ In The City” (”NY’s alright if you like saxophones”), I’m talking about The Randoms - “Let’s Get Rid Of NY”. I can play this song over and over and over again. I can listen to the two minutes and thirty seconds of pogoing perfection for hours with the only pause being the time it takes to push the needle back to the beginning. I’m like a teenage girl in 1964 with a copy of “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”, absolutely mesmerized. When this perfect tune plays, it’s the only song in the world. When the chorus kicks up with that scrappy Chuck Berry on 78rpm’s riff and I hear the declaration of “Let’s Get Rid Of New York”, I think it’s the way a devout church goer feels each time the congregation shouts “hallelujah!”

I want everyone to know, as I’m aware many readers of this blog are from the NY area, I have nothing really against the people of your city, I certainly love many of the associated musical traditions, but there is something about the city itself that I hate. It’s not because I live in Boston, it’s just the way I feel. Like the way you might feel about mayonnaise on your food. Please don’t take it personal New Yorkers (although I know you will).

So you see, when you combine the perfect punk music, with the perfect lyrical sentiment, it makes sense that you can only declare such a composition, one of the greatest rock songs ever written (beyond all criticism etc.). Why in the name of everything holy and unholy then, is this song on the B-Side? I can only imagine it’s a joke, because even though “ABCD” is a fine song in its own right, it’s the “Let’s Go Away For A While” of this package. Now let me just shock you and say, after all that praise… this is only my SECOND favorite single on Dangerhouse.

Number ONE: the untouchable “We’ve Got The Neutron Bomb” by The Weirdos. As a package it nudges out the Randoms just barely for having what I think is the stronger A-Side (the title track), the real treat though is inexplicably on Side-B again: “Solitary Confinement”. Maybe it’s the angry boy in me, but all the bouncy pop fun of “Let’s Get Rid Of NY” is easy to forget when you hear this proto-HC slash ‘n burn job. I know I’m drowning in my own hyperbole right now, but try to listen to Solitary Confinement without playing air-guitar — I guarantee you will fail without the aid of a handful of sleeping pills (and I don’t do that shit so I’m screwed). I’m sorry to 2-Time the Randoms like this, I really am, but this is also one of the greatest rock songs of all time. It’s one for the books folks. Take “Search and Destroy”, strip off the silver pants and make-up, and proceed to rip it up at full volume with a chorus roughly the size of one of Jupiter (the planet).

I don’t have all day, so I can’t even talk about the raging screams of Alice Bag, or 2 of the 4 good Dils songs. Likewise I’m gonna have to skip explaining why the Deadbeats suck, and I’d rather listen to Howard Werth. Another day, although since everyone in New York and surrounding areas has abandoned me, that day may never come.